What Do We Really Value?
It's hard to say how many couples over the years have inquired about attending a Married for Life group for their marriage. It is also hard to say how many have declined to attend because the course lasts 12 weeks. We've heard all the reasons, but the number one, without a doubt is, "That's too long."
It always amazes us that a couple who has vowed to remain together for life, finds 12 weeks too long a time to work on their marriage. It leads us to question again and again, "What do we really value?"
One thing that we obviously value is a wedding. Venues must be contacted and reserved sometimes over a year in advance. Then there's the gown selection. That usually takes months. And that's just for the bride. Additional gown choices and fittings are required for each bridesmaid. Not to be left out the groom must also choose his attire and that of his groomsmen. Each outfit must be fitted and ordered. Plans for the rehearsal and the reception take hours and hours, if not days and weeks. The plans for the honeymoon often involve not only a location but also plane tickets or other transportation. Hours and hours, days and days, weeks and weeks, months and months--all for one big day.
It is obvious we value the wedding, but how much do we value the marriage? Somehow after all the commotion of the wedding and honeymoon, the marriage is supposed to just glide along without any planning. And, for most couples, it starts out that way. Drifting along day by day, blindly in love, and enjoying being together.
Somehow over time, though, bumps begin to surface in the road of bliss. Just little things at first, but as time goes on, they get bigger. And somehow when this begins to happen, couples are so very busy they don't have time to plan or to take effective action. Back when they were planning the wedding, even cake tasting was a priority. There were still the same number of hours in a day and days in a week, but they carved out time for what they valued. No doubt as a married couple they are still doing that. It's just that so many other things are more important now.
It's Worth It!
They say it takes 21 days to change a habit. How long do you think it takes to change a marriage? Ask yourself these questions.
- What would our wedding have looked like if we had given it the time and attention we are giving our marriage?
- How much "me" time have I had this week as opposed to "we" time?
- If I listed from 1 to 5 the things that are most important in my life right now, where would our marriage be?
- How much money am I willing to spend on our marriage? How much time? How much energy?
Now sit down as a couple and compare your answers. Do you see a need to invest into your life together? Why not decide today to plan your marriage with as much enthusiasm, time, energy, and finances as you did your wedding? In the end, it always comes down to what we value the most.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:34