Is It Possible To Reignite Love?
Repent - The Key for Establishing Covenant Marriage in Remarriage
“Could it be possible for God to reignite love or ignite a love that never really existed?”
Discovering the reality of what God really says in His Word regarding divorce was a long process after we married. God took each of us “through” to an understanding that evolved as our spirits opened to receive truth which brought revelation and freedom. God’s love had surrounded Susan during those dark months of separation and eventual divorce in her first marriage. She had never felt so completely enveloped in His love. It kept her calm through the darkest of times. She sincerely believed that marital unfaithfulness was the only acceptable justification for divorce. After all, that is what had been taught from the pulpit throughout her entire Christian life. However, the continuous emotional abuse and multiple crises eventually wore her down after twenty-two years of standing on the Word. She just knew God had finally released her from the marriage.
Roy’s first marriage was birthed out of a need for friendship. They didn’t know how to take it to what a marriage should be. Even with them both saved, God was not allowed to be an integral part of the relationship and therefore it had no solid foundation on which to build. So after eighteen years which were riddled with numerous traumatic tests, it was mutually decided to sacrifice the marriage for the sake of the friendship before that too was lost. Unfortunately, Roy did not have a strong conviction regarding what the Bible had to say about divorce, so the decision was made based on what was good for both parties. No matter what the story of a divorce, each has their own unique twists.
You may try to rationalize your divorce. We know your rationale seems good to end the marriage. You may reason: We made a mistake in ever getting married or he/she doesn’t love me anymore, or I don’t love them. “I can’t live like this” or “He was unfaithful to me, I can never forgive him and God doesn’t expect me to do so.” There is a long list of rationale reasons as to why the marriage won’t work. Some are very serious and need professional attention. But please ask yourself could it be possible for God to reignite love or ignite a love that never really existed? The answer to that is simple as well as complex. Simple for God, because He is able to ignite a love between two people who have already covenanted with Him until death separates them. Complex for humans, because we have our own flesh (soul), attitudes, and emotional history to deal with – not to mention what our spouse brings into the mix.
In order to kindle a love, Jesus will challenge your heart problems to heal relational problems. One person has to stand with God and believe for reconciliation. Remember this small step you took in your marriage? It is a normal part of most marriage vows today. As a couple we stand before God and man, speaking vows that enter us into a covenant relationship with each other and with God. “Therefore what God has joined (Hebrew ‘debaq’ and Greek ‘proskollao’ meaning glue) together, let no man (or woman) separate” (Mark 10:9, NIV).
On that marriage day it is very meaningful, but after the bombs hit and the shrapnel works its way into our souls, we forget about His command for us to let no man (or woman) separate! Reading the New Testament we discover that divorce was used to terminate a betrothal or espousal agreement, not a marriage. (See Matt. 1:18-19 NIV). “Mary was pledged (espoused) to be married to Joseph…” – “…before they came together (consummated the marriage)…” – “…he had a mind to divorce her…” In Hebrew tradition, all legal matters and contracts regarding a pledged couple took place at the time of the espousal arrangements. The couple was considered husband and wife at that time. A writ of divorce was the only means to dissolve this arrangement. Upon the husband and wife consummating the marriage after the wedding feast, they become one flesh, sealing the covenant relationship – “until death do us part.” This obviously is the disagreement over theology that God says “except for the cause of adultery.” He was speaking there of the betrothal, or engagement between Mary and Joseph.
The importance of repentance after remarriage – we discovered the revelation that divorce is a sin against God’s order and command which involves the broken covenant marriage relationship. “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” (Mal. 2:16)
While God hates divorce, it is not the unforgivable sin. True revelation about these principles will bring repentance and forgiveness. Repentance of a previous divorce and remarriage breaks off the past and empowers a couple to move into a covenant relationship (Read 1 John 1:9, 2 Cor. 7:10).
God is gracious, but with knowledge about His truth comes responsibility. God desires obedience (repentance), more than sacrifice (1 Sam. 15:22, Psalm 51:16-17). If you have divorced, come before Him confessing and asking forgiveness for the sin of breaking covenant with Him and your spouse. Vow with your mate that divorce will never be an option again. If you are contemplating a divorce, slow down, get alone with God and ask Him for direction, His will about being reconciled.
Repentance is a reversal of attitude and behavior and a reformation of one’s viewpoint of a matter, a heart-changing experience. God will walk with you through that valley into the revelation of truth. If you have been married more than once, there is a clear path of repentance for you to begin today to understand the biblical mandate about your past, present and future.
Repentance leads to freedom from condemnation. God wants us to seize the day and live joyful lives with no condemnation (Romans 8:1). We have found great delight in helping other marriages become stronger through applying the selfless principles which are clear in His Word. This can and should be your portion as you fully understand the revelation of why you need to repent and move on into God’s purposes for your life!
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