Mat and Joyce

WEATHERING A STORMY MARRIAGE

This couple came into the 2003 MFL class in crisis and had given up on counseling sessions. They are now serving as leaders in their church.

Joyce

My husband and I enrolled for the MFL course under the most stressful and needful circumstances of our 11 years of marriage.

Hidden issues in the early difficult years of our marriage had surfaced and I went through a difficult three months coming to terms with what had happened. When persuaded to take up MFL course, I was reluctant as I did not believe my issues could be resolved with just another marriage course. Nevertheless, I went just because my husband wanted a try.

Through the course, I gained a better understanding of God's plan for my marriage. I had always desired an intimate relationship with my husband but had subconsciously given up hope with so many disappointments built over the years. I had resigned for the second best. I did not believe that a total unity and harmony of our spirit, soul, and body was possible for us. I also did not believe a transparent, open and honest relationship secured by the marriage covenant could ever happen in my marriage. My unbelief was further affirmed by my secular training in my counseling field.

I have since repented of my unbelief and believed God's best for my marriage. I trust God to change the circumstances of my marriage. He pointed me to look at my own heart instead of my husband's. I had double standard. I could be honest to my husband about everything but judged the purpose of his honesty when the truth hurts. I repented of my judgment and released forgiveness to my husband for even the smallest disappointments. I learnt to release forgiveness over and over again until I am free. I learnt to appreciate my husband's honesty and transparency instead and see my husband from God's eyes.

Over the course, my husband softened his heart and changed his attitude towards me. Now we pray together more often and are more communicative making time to call or message from work - something he hardly did in the past. We also developed a renewed appreciation and love for each other.

Praise the Lord for this course and journey that allowed us to experience a new freshness in our marriage.

Mat

MFL is God's lifeline for my marriage in deep trouble. More than four months ago, my marriage (like a ship) that I have cherished for the last 11 years sailed into a big storm. The storm was so strong that it almost destroyed my ship - if we had not made May Day calls which eventually led us to the MFL course. Through the lessons, my attitude change towards my wife and started to see victories in some struggles.

As a Christian for 20 years and my wife 13 years, we hardly prayed as a couple . I felt uneasy. Sometimes I was very critical of my wife's prayers and other times I was very impatient to listen to her prayers. Actually, the true issue was my own heart as I carried a heavy guilt in me which prevented me from praying with her transparently. The hindrances were those years of hurts and disappointments, unforgiveness and hidden sins. One by one as God revealed, by faith we confessed and released forgiveness to each other. As we trusted God in obedience, God healed our wounds and our hearts were brought closer. A huge barrier was broken. Our individual prayer life also improved. Such a God-given tool has helped us grow more intimately, personally, and with our one-flesh. We can use it as an offensive tool against Satan's schemes.

Through MFL God calmed the storm. I now know that my marriage is sailing in the right direction again. Storms are an inevitable in life but I am now strengthened in my faith through this storm. I believe I am better equipped to weather the next storm in my life.