Les and Pat

I PLANNED MY EXIT BUT GOD HAD HIS DESIGN

This couple graduated in 2004 and became MFL leaders in 2006.

Pat

I was ready for parting ways in 2004. I had been walking closer to God for many years, yet, something snapped and I wanted out. I turned cold in 2004 and attended the lesson because my husband asked me twice. I only decided to attend on the eve of the first lesson.

God had His design. We can plan but the final outcome is in God's hands. I planned my exit but God created the outcome. I saw how God started to change both of us throughout our 14 weeks with MFL class,

Les

We are like FLINT STONES, not the cave man version but rather we have so different personality that when we come together, sparks fly. We joined the MFL course taking an attitude to see what would happen and go with the flow, expecting little.

Three lessons made a difference in our Marriage during and after the course. They are Covenant, One Flesh and Praying Together.

The reinforcement of marriage being a COVENANT impressed my wife and I. When God makes a covenant with man, He never breaks it. In fact He blesses it. There are many covenants God made with man - Adam & Eve, Abraham, Noah, to name a few.

The one that spoke to me is the covenant He made with the people of Israel in Exodus 19: 5-8 ...."Now if you will obey Me and keep My covenant you will be My own people. The whole earth is mine but you will be My chosen people, a people dedicated to Me alone and you will serve Me as priests. ......Then all the people answered together "We will do everything that the Lord has said" and Moses reported this to the Lord. ..........

But they did not obey the Lord God and were punished for their disobedience because the nation had gone back on their word My wife and I are very different individuals. Covenant means we need to work at it to get the balance right in our marriage. We needed to bond as husband and wife, to avoid conflicts. So how can we achieve this?

In 2004, we accepted separation as a route to a more peaceful life for our individual lifestyles. In 2006 before we became Leaders-In-Training while we were struggling with our own individualism, God spoke to me through Malachi 2:15-16 .....So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith'

It means to have the same commitment to marriage, same sense of commitment like our God who made covenant and His promises with His people

In the ONE FLESH lesson, we are taught to remove our self-centered ways and bond into one by submitting to God first, then to one another. "And the two shall become one".

This is very difficult to do. We can't expect a quick fix. The strength has to come from God and spearheaded by the Holy Spirit. We cannot expect the other to change or turn away from bad habits and likewise she cannot expect me to change when she requires me to do so. It is God who changes us in His time.

This is where PRAYING TOGETHER comes in, praying for each other & our family with thankful hearts, attracts the love God. There are many obstacles and reasons to stop us from praying together like tiredness, getting upset with each other or our daughter.

Praying together is something we did not do regularly. Yet through this we are brought closer to God and to one another. There is a sense of togetherness and peace.

Pat

Through all our trials and corrections, we tapped into God's Word and by the power of the Holy Spirit. The outcome is peace and contentment. So, why should I settle for less?

I realized that we had been planting bad seeds in our marriage and had reaped a harvest of anger, rebellion, and self centeredness. We planted bad seeds in our words (condemnation), in our attitudes (stubbornness) and in our actions (rejection). Our daughter was also impacted negatively

By praying together, we are constantly aware that we have to plant good seeds to reap a good harvest. God gives strength to those who pray continuously and unceasingly. It says in
2 Corinthians 10:4 "for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses." Prayer is a weapon to destroy our stubbornness, selfishness, fear, jealousy, sadness and to stop us from sowing bad seeds and reaping that bad harvest.

To change, I must DECIDE to change. I can only change by plugging into God's strength like plugging into the electrical socket to switch on for the light. Every second, I should be trying my level best to plant good seeds daily. Then I began to see myself, my spouse and daughter growing in righteousness. As in Galatians 6:9 it says "Don't get tired of doing good because there will come a time when we will reap the harvest. Do good every chance, to everyone especially to those who belong to our family in the faith". Indeed He equips us in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ.

Les

Life is still a struggle. There are strife and unpleasant moments, even after 14 weeks. Sometimes we focus too much on the problem and this destroys our vision and ability to see the big picture. A white handkerchief, with a black spot, will look black if we keep looking at the spot only.

I learnt that the love and wisdom of God helps control our actions and puts us with the right perspective. He encourages us in our struggle in sin. Hebrews 12:7 says...
"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?" As God's son, I am working towards having my quiet moments searching and seeking His face on a more regular basis to strengthen myself.

Today, we are a lot stronger in our marriage. The MFL course does not cure all our problems, but it sets our path straight by giving us the marriage principles of God to work on.