Francis and Dorothy

GOD OF SECOND CHANCES

Francis and Dorothy attended the 2003 MFL class while they were separated. After their MFL graduation they moved back together. With the support of church leaders and cell members, they continued on their journey of healing.

Four years of separation due to Francis' infidelity and extra marital affairs did not stop God from turning things around. Read their latest testimony here, 3 years on after their reconciliation.

Francis

I was in my mid thirties when I was separated from my wife. I was caught with a photo in my wallet of the girl that I was dating. Unknown to me, many friends have seen me with this girl. When my wife realized that I was having an affair, all her initial denials dissipated and the marriage broke down. The guilt and shame drove me to hide away like a child and I moved out on my own. I tried to persuade my wife to keep everything quiet by compromising to go for marital counseling. However, when my wife started to retaliate I fought back and justified myself and pretend that my problem was not too severe. I swept everything under the carpet and I distanced myself physically, emotionally and financially and cut off communications with everyone I knew, including my mother and relatives.

It all started because I was bored with work and just wanted to join the guys for a drink. I was struggling to make my mark since we need to work smart and go that extra mile in order `to arrive' and be better than the rest.

I worked hard at climbing the corporate ladder by day and attended classes by night. God was distant and only someone to go to if I had problems. Christian life was reduced to Sunday church with quiet time just going through the `daily bread notes' for a pat on my back that I did it.

My heart for God was edged out by career. I hungered for worldly recognition and material wealth. When asked to go for a drink, I just went. My sense of right and wrong by then went out of the window. That first drink let me to many different pubs. From drinking places, it progressed to women.

Dorothy

Following the discovery of my husband's infidelity was a long ‘emotional roller coaster' ride. His promises to change gave me high hopes but his return to his old ways plunged me into depression. Francis' relationship with other women ripped me apart in all ways. I was angry and wished the worst to happen to him. Such ugliness, together with other sins, surfaced. I thought that my sins were not as bad as my husband's. However God put it to me clearly "a sin is a sin." I was after all not the nice person people knew me. I finally saw myself as I was- a sinner in desperate need for God's mercy. I repented and embraced His love and experienced His wonderful forgiveness. I then became to grow in my walk with God.

Prior to that, I had contemplated divorce because I thought this is the only way to ease my pain. However, there were concerns. I knew Francis was then a confused man. He might marry his girlfriend out of impulse if I proceeded with the divorce and then there will be no hope for restoring our marriage. God told me to pray and wait.

My husband's multiple extra marital relationships left me convinced that he had a void in him that only God can fill. Compassion for my husband began to grow in me. This must be from God because it is not within my human capacity to love a person who has hurt me so much. As I experienced more of God's goodness, I wished so much for my husband to also taste His goodness. I began to pray for Francis. God is faithful. He heard me and miracles started to happen.

Francis

That was the turning point in our separation. Friends introduced us to the MFL course. I was touched by the different stories and testimonies at one of the MFL graduation parties. So both my wife and I signed up.

Week after week through the various lessons, we started to rebuild the foundations of our marriage.

God dealt with my mind and cleansed me from inside out, got rid of old baggage and renewed me with the infilling of the Holy Spirit. I started to speak in tongues daily and God gave me the gift of vision among other gifts. Truly, God is merciful and the God of many chances.

We learnt to pray together daily for different issues and problems. God has taught us to trust Him for different matters from work to daily problems. Our goals and purposes have changed too.

My heart that was filled with pride and self centeredness was replaced with a heart for Him. My need for approval because I was raised without a father, surfaced in one of the healing sessions. I had a spirit of anger for my delinquent father who abandoned me and my mom when she was pregnant. God dealt with my past generational curses of infidelity and cut loose its bondages in my life.

Dorothy

Deep in my heart, my husband's return was what I longed for yet when the time came, I was not ready. In the 4th year of our separation, Francis expressed his desire to start life with me all over again. I just cannot imagine myself living with a man who may cheat me again. My pride surfaced as I thought it was shameful to take back a man who has lost everything. Was he returning to me out of convenience since he was down to his last dollar? Yet it was evident that Francis was serious this time. He was already attending church by himself and receptive to help. He was making efforts as we attended MFL classes together.

Still I had doubts, insecurities and fears. But God reminded me that if I have been forgiven, how can I deny Francis a second chance too? As husband and wife, we were joined in union like two pieces of paper glued together. I knew that divorce will tear us apart, leaving many emotional scars. And my son will not be spared too.

For a long time, I had believed Satan's lie that I can be both a mother and father to my son. However, there were many times I wished my husband was there for my son. I was certain that there were needs in my son that only my husband can give. Like the stability and security of a complete family. With these convictions from the Lord, I decided to put obedience above my feelings. I forgave my husband and began our journey of healing together.

I was also brought back to the day when I made my marriage vows before God. Yes, I vowed to cherish my husband for better and for worse. Hence, I had the responsibility to help my husband in his journey back to God. Just like a mother will never disown her child even if he fails her, a wife and husband should never break the covenantal relationship.

I trusted God to heal all my hurts. He has helped me overcome many emotional struggles and I know He will continue to heal me completely.

Francis

We now have peace, comfort and strength in our marriage and we are also deeper in love. God has used our most shameful and painful story to help others. He has strengthened us in our weakness.

As we look back, God has made what we think as impossible to happen. We acknowledge the great power of God and His unfailing love to give us a second chance.