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When a married couple’s relationship goes bad the desire to get out can be tempting. When your husband or wife is the source of your unhappiness it seems obvious that getting away from them will improve your quality of life. This conclusion often leads to separation and separation often leads to divorce, but divorce seldom leads to the happiness that was desired.

The most unhappy of these marriages reported the most dramatic turnarounds: among those who rated their marriages as very unhappy, almost eight out of 10 who avoided divorce were happily married five years later.

Call it the "divorce assumption." Most people assume that a person stuck in a bad marriage has two choices: stay married and miserable or get a divorce and become happier. A team of leading family scholars headed by University of Chicago sociologist Linda Waite found no evidence that unhappily married adults who divorced were typically any happier than unhappily married people who stayed married. In fact for two-thirds of the unhappily married spouses who stayed married their marriages improved reporting that their marriages were happy five years later. The most unhappy of these marriages reported the most dramatic turnarounds: among those who rated their marriages as very unhappy, almost eight out of 10 who avoided divorce were happily married five years later.

It seems the divorce assumption is incorrect. Unhappily married spouses are not condemned to stay married and miserable. If they stay committed to their relationship, whatever their present level of unhappiness, in time the result will be that they become happy in their marriage relationship. If however they choose to divorce the study suggests they have placed themselves on path that will not result in happiness.

When a marriage turns bad the best advice we can give is to stay committed to the relationship and seek a way to work through the problems. Attending a Married for Life class, either in person or via video conferencing, would be a good first step to helping you get your relationship back on track. Over a period of 12 weeks you will be taught christian principles that will strengthen your relationship, help you avoid behaviors that are damaging, and establish your marriage on the right path.

 Click here to register interest in 'Married for Life' our Christian marriage course!