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I remember the first time I tried to follow a set of instructions in Hungarian on a packet mix I almost cried. Hours later and I still wasn’t sure what to do with it and I resorted to guess work.

A few days ago I filled in a form and resorted to guess work for the fields I wasn’t quite sure about. This probably isn’t the wisest strategy if it is a very important document but I thought it was okay on the one I was filling in. I only realised when my son was filling in forms for his exams here in Hungary that “F” is for “férfi” which is male not for “female”! This is where guess work doesn’t work well!

In marriage we can struggle with communication. You think you understand what your spouse is communicating and might fully understand 40%, 60% or even 80% but guess work fills in the gaps. The guess work is what often gets us into relationship difficulties.

Somewhere between the man and woman I am sure there is an invisible wall. The wall absorbs sounds, twists and warps them a little and sends them in the direction of your spouse. What you said and what they hear are now two entirely different things.

It might be easy for those who remember the game Chinese Whispers to call this wall the Wall of Whispers. We hear words in our hearts which were never spoken but we are convinced they came from our spouse.

Our spouse says, “The dress is expensive” the words pass through the Wall of Whispers and distorts the message to say “you aren’t worth it”.  Your spouse says, “You aren’t home often enough” they mean “I would like to spend more time with you” but the Wall
of Whispers distorts the message and says, “You are a disappointment”.

Tear down the Wall of Whispers today by clarifying what you mean and removing the guess work.

Proverbs 2:2 So that you incline your ear to wisdom, and apply your heart to understanding.