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Do you ever feel that you have been shipwrecked and ended up on a desert island? You are surrounded by people yet still have a deep sense of loneliness. If so then you are going through what many expats experience when they are first shipped abroad.

Identifying our needs can be a huge help in finding our feet on foreign soil. We do need to recognise that we may not share the same priorities as our spouse.  Perhaps there is something we place as a high priority but our spouse doesn’t rate it as important at all. Remember many couples meet the experience of living abroad from very different perspectives. You may be enjoying the challenges every new day brings while your spouse is miserable and longs for security.

It is important to talk about what is top of your priority list. When we were on missionary training we were asked to identify five things we couldn’t live without, (assuming that the spiritual aspect is already your top priority).

This isn’t a “Desert Island Discs” list. It is a list of those things that are essential to your survival and sanity living abroad. Here are my top 5

1. Communication – The need to reconnect with home and also connect with the locals.
2. Transportation – I don’t like to feel as though I am stranded.
3. Community – It is important I feel part of life around me.
4. Countryside – This is my escape when things get stressful.
5. Security – Knowing that we were safe and that our kids were safe (especially when they were travelling to school).

Roy’s top five are quite different. What are your top five?