Fantastic Families

6 Proven Steps to Building a Strong Family

What makes a ‘strong' family? The editors of Legacy believe that a strong, personal relationship with Jesus Christ and family relationships rooted in God's Word empowered by the Holy Spirit are the bedrock of strong families. This interesting study highlights some of the qualities exhibited by strong, healthy families which are centered on Christ.

What is a strong family?  Being a healthy family is more than being without problems; strong families have lots of problems – just like everyone else.  Before John DeFrain’s grandmother, Effie DeFrain, died at age 86, she lay in bed blind from cataracts, both legs amputated at the hip from complications of diabetes.  Her middle-aged son, Orville, was noting the difficulties he was confronting in life at the time.  She listened patiently.  “Life,” she responded without malice, “is troubles.”

Strong families know about trouble.  To be a strong family is not without challenges.  It is much, much more; it is the presence of guidelines for living and the ability to surmount life’s inevitable challenges when they arise.  Strong families are pleasant, positive places to live because members have learned some beneficial ways of treating each other.  Family members can count on each other for support, love, and loyalty.  They can talk to each other; they enjoy each other.

Members of strong families feel good about themselves as a family unit or team; they have a sense of belonging with each other – a sense of we.  At the same time, no individual gets lost or smothered; each family member is encouraged to develop his or her potential.  Strong families are able to survive the crises that come their way.  They unite to meet challenges; they are effective problem solvers.  They pull together to pull through.

1.  Commitment – Members of strong families are dedicated to promoting each other’s welfare and happiness.  They value the unity of the family.  [Phil. 2:1-4]
2. Appreciation and Affection – Members of strong families show appreciation for each other a great deal.  They can feel how good a family is.  [1 Thess. 5:11]
3. Positive Communication – Members of good families have good communication skills and spend large amounts of time talking with each other.  [James 1:9]
4.  Time Together – Strong families spend time – quality time in generous quantities – with each other.  [Eph. 5:16]
5.  Spiritual Well-being – Whether they go to formal religious services or not, strong families have a sense of a greater good or power in life.  That belief gives them strength and purpose.  [Deut. 6:6-8] 
6. The Ability to Cope with Stress and Crises – Members of strong families are able to view stress or crises as opportunities to grow.  [Eph. 4:25-32]*

The six steps to building strong families are so profoundly simple that they can be misleading. Why? Because simply understanding what we need to do to make our families work happily together is not enough. The principles - must be lived out in your family. Strong families are made - step by step. People in strong families have to work at it, to nurture it. Constantly.

Dr. Nick and Nancy Stinnett and Joe and Alice Beam

Scriptures inserted for further study

Excerpted and adapted by permission from Fantastic Families Howard Publishing 1999.  The Stinnetts have partnered in research for the 25 years and have written Relationship in Marriage and the Family.  The Beams have founded Family Dynamics and he has authored Seeing the Unseen

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