Divorce-Proofing Your Marriage

10 Lies that Lead to Divorce & Truths that Prevent It.

Divorce-proofing your marriage.

It’s entirely possible to have a marriage in which divorce is never an option!  You and your spouse can divorce-proof your marriage and make sure you have a peaceful, joyful, loving, godly life together…  “until death you do part.” 

You must reject the lies and believe the truths concerning marriage and divorce.  Paul writes. “He will completely fool those who are on their way to hell because they have said ‘no’ to the Truth; they have refused to believe it and love it, and let it save them, so God will allow them to believe lies with all their hearts, and all of them will be justly judged for believing falsehood, refusing the Truth and enjoying their sins” (2 Thess. 2:10-12 TLB, emphasis added).

10 Lies that lead to divorce and truths that prevent it

1. Lie:  Marriage is a contract.
   Truth:  Marriage is a covenant designed by God
2. Lie:  I married you, not your family!
   Truth:  You don’t marry only your spouse; you get a packaged deal.
3. Lie:  I can change my spouse.
   Truth:  You can change only your part in the dance.
4. Lie:  We are too different.
   Truth:  Incompatibility or differences do not kill a relationship.  How you work out those differences is what counts.
5. Lie:  I’ve lost that loving feeling, and it’s gone, gone, gone!
   Truth:  That loving feeling can be restored.
6. Lie:  A more traditional marriage will save us.
   Truth:  God’s intention is gender equality and one flesh unity.*
7. Lie:  I can’t change – this is who I am; take it or leave it.
   Truth:  I can change, but it requires desire, obedience and power.
8. Lie:  There has been an affair.  We need to divorce.
   Truth:  Affairs are serious and damaging, but not beyond repair and reconciliation.
9. Lie:  It doesn’t matter what I do; God will forgive me.
   Truth:  Receive God’s grace with a repentant heart.
10. Lie:  It’s too broken.  Nothing can fix this relationship.
    Truth:  It’s never too late because nothing is impossible with God.

[*Editor’s note:  While God has created husbands and wives with specific responsibilities and roles in marriage, He did not create one superior to the other.  God is no respecter of persons.  As “one flesh” a couple forms a three-fold cord with God in covenant that doesn’t favor one over the other.  Both stand equally accountable and responsible before God in covenant.]

By Linda Mintle Ph.D.

Excerpted and adapted with permission from Divorce Proofing Your Marriage by Linda Mintle, Ph.D. published by Siloam, 2001.

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