Biblical Foundations for Blended Families

Getting beyond excuses and getting it right.

A concrete foundation is made of sand, gravel and cement mixed properly together with water. Taking the sand of repentance, the gravel of a ‘one flesh' marriage and the cement of covenant mixed properly together with the power of God's love (agape) a blended family can lay a firm foundation for the future. That properly laid foundation can weather the circumstantial whirlwinds and the waves of consequences and trials that will most certainly crash against the blended family.

The Sand of Repentance.

By itself, sand cannot form a foundation. But it's a necessary ingredient for strength and consistency in concrete. Likewise, repentance alone can never be enough for a blended family to build on the future. But it certainly begins to clear away the past particularly in the case of divorce.

Confess.

A couple who has remarried after divorce must finally come to grips with the multitude of sins and transgressions from the hurts, brokenness, divorce and disobedience that finally led them into the present marriage and repent to God, one another, the children and family-even the ‘ex-spouses.' Only then can the cleansing power of God's forgiveness through the blood of Christ begin to work in all of those relationships. Scripture promises that when we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us all our sins and cleanse us of unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

Repent. 

Repentance goes far beyond saying to everyone affected, "I'm sorry." Repentance asks for forgiveness and moves 180 degrees in the opposite direction of the sinful behaviors, attitudes and words that created all the hurts and brokenness. Repentance demands change and new life in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17). We move from the transgressions of the past through the grace of His forgiveness into ‘getting it right' from now on through the power of His Spirit (Zech. 4:6).

Change.

Change is the key factor in ‘getting it right' in a blended family. The wrong way things were done in the past in marriage and parenting cannot continue into the future. God wants to do a new thing (Is. 43:19) in your family. Instead of living with the ‘buts' of the past, are you willing to change? Stop blaming your problems on the ex-spouse, the finances, the ‘other' man or woman, the destructive workaholism, the rebellious child or whatever problems dominated your past-don't dwell there (Is. 43:18).

Quit doing the wrong things, forget the past and start building the foundation of a new home with the sand of repentance combined with the gravel or rocks of ‘one flesh' and the cement of covenant mixed with the living water of God's love.

The Rock of "One Flesh"

For years I led youth work camps in the summer. We repaired homes of the poor and elderly. Pouring concrete seemed to be involved in many of our jobsites. Without the key ingredients of sand, gravel (small rocks or stones), cement and water, we could not pour a foundation that would last.

Blended families need a godly, holy foundation for the future built on God's ways not on human experiences, education or emotions. We need revelation not rationalizations for success. Is your marriage rock solid - built on the Rock!

The bedrock of marriage in scripture is that in marriage a man and a woman become ‘one flesh' (Gen. 2:24, Matt. 19:5-6, Mark 10:8, 1 Cor. 6:16 and Eph. 5:31).... More>>

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